Empathy in Leaders

Recently I was asked about kindness and the perception of weakness in leaders. I wasn't overly surpised to hear stories about leaders in the workplace who feared being labled a weak leader if the show more kindness and understanding to their employees.

I have to admit this is very prevalent in our society, at least in the United States, where at times the most agressive, take charge person moves up the ranks. We see this in politics as well. Here was my response.

To me empathy is the single most important trait of a leader. A leader needs to make others feel good about themselves, about their company and about the importance of their contributions to the good of the company.

The reality is that no one is immune to bad days or even a longer stretch of challenges at work and/or in our personal lives. A great leader will recognize this and respond appropriately to ensure that the people working for them feel a sense of strength and hope.

This is essentially providing strength to others through kindness.

A question came about around respecting other peoples privacy while still looking to support them in challenging times. I was asked about how I would respond to someone on my team who was clearly having issues but did not want to open up. My response was as follows.

It all begins before a team member has a bad day. From day one a leader needs to take every opportunity to show they are good listeners. It does not need to be related to challenges, but could be seeking opinions of their group as well.

When I have a team I let them know they can come to me, but more importantly I go to them, share my thoughts and listen to theirs. I regularly point out when decisions are made or plans are formulated, the amount of influence each of them have on those decisions and plans.

When projects go well I give all the credit to the team and I go to senior management and ask them to talk to my team individually to thank them for a good job.

When projects go poorly I take accountablity and shelter the team from negatvitiy from a customer or from senior management. Then I do a post-mortem to see how we can improve and discuss with the team. If I need to discuss something with an individual, I like to take them for a walk outside and talk about how we can improve things.

I find that this builds trust and when someone is struggling they will share this with me and we figure out how to balance things during that tough period. I find that people do not necessarily share the granular details all the time, but I let them know that is ok and we will still support them through a tough period.

So respecting privacy is inherently there. They can share as much or as little as they feel comfortable and I give them the trust that there is a temporary challenge they need to overcome and I am there if they need it.

Comments and questions are always welcome.